Hari ini...

Hati ku terus tenang... tiada kekesalan... tiada aper yg perlu aku tangiskan... 

"I have done the best for all day of today"

Tiada aper yg perlu aku ingatkan pada hari ini, hanyalah 'senyuman itu' dan peluang ku untuk 'mensucikan mu'

Terus tenang, aku terus tersenyum... kerna ia 'hadiah' yg tdk terhingga buat ku...

Al-fatihah.... Djuniar A. Kadir
280256 -- 140812

This moment...

25 ramadhan... at this moment of time (4pm), while all muslims is preparing for Asar's prayer, while those muslims is doing the sunnah prayer, she is battling her life... at this moment, she had open her eyes after been sleeping for the past 3 days... no one knows, that moment, she is watching her soul as it flew away and saying goodbye to all people around her, to me... but no one see her... this moment, her last grip is slowing fading from my hold... i cant describe how this moment had fade away, but i am glad to be there, i am glad to remind her of the mighty Allah all the time, never stop, until her last breath... i have promised her,, which i dont have to tell the whole world now.. lets this promise only between me, you and Allah... i trust you have listen to me mom, bcoz i have seen u such a release but in another way which ur last exhale ever... ya Allah, please remind me when ever i have forgotten the path on holding the promise... because i am afraid to be seen as the bad shadow of myself...  alhamdulillah... i have tried my best... lets nobody see it... bcoz mom, u always said, the good things is not to be seen and not to be told... i pray i will be strong as you mom! after that moment, i knew, u will be in a better place, u have left the good things behind, u have the good things to taking care of everything u left... but what is it? no one knows, only u and Allah knew... i dont know either, i can only describe that, why? bcoz u have left the last smile for us to see.. its the sweetest goodbye ever... i have no questions, i have no wonders.. i smile back to you, even u dont see it.. its a mutual understanding appear between us during that moment...... remembering the suffering i have seen everyday is a heart slashed.. i have learned mom, now i am glad.. Allah is the greatest, He have arrange the best thing for us and everything that happen, everything that we have face, will be paid as a token... to be strong, to be thankful, always redha (pleased) are always the hardest thing to do... why? bcoz we tend to forgot Allah... i have found the answer in u... u are the strongest women ever, u stand strong for ur family, u always thanked Allah for every test given bcoz u always patient, redha (pleased) and Allah gave u a token, u have family to lean on, u have children that makes u proud and we stand to protect you...just let people see that i have gave nothing.. i have nothing to prove, you are no longer with me to tell everybody ....but Allah knows... this token is now will continue even u r no longer with us.. and this token will always be with you until at padang mashar, insyallah.... my pray is always with u mom... remember i have told u, "mak, jangan risau ye.. just hold my hand" i really meant it for the rest of my life....  "ya Allah, istiqamah kan aku dalam ibadah ku, terutama dalam doa ku dan semoga aku sentiasa redha akan ujian mu" Al-Fatihah...

i am happy for u, SweetyHoneyzz

Dialog yang sepi....

Hanya Allah yg tahu... dialog sepi petang ku bersama ibu... ku tangis teresak, bukan mengenang... hanya mengadu.. lagi perit bile aduan ku tidak bersahut... 
Teringat ku pada kuliah subuh tempoh hri... menangis ku di dalam... terima kasih ibu, kerna engkau telah memilih ku.. sahut kesyukuran ku pada mu ya allah.. kerna kami berdua telah terpilih oleh mu... berikan aku hidayah yg berterusan...
Terhapus dosa2 ku kerna mu ibu... aku tidak akan pernah berhenti untuk terus membanggakan mu... aku tidak akan pernah berhenti untuk terus tabah demi ayah, demi adik... moga allah beriku keredhaan nya...
Sedikit demi sedikit allah beriku petunjuk.. beriku kesedaran.. bahawa aku harus berdiri sendiri.. sedikit demi sedikit, aku perlu lepaskan 'jerat' itu.. ya, kerna ia sudah mjadi 'jerat' bukan lagi dinding utk ku bersandar... 
Ibu... aku akan pulang dgn membanggakan mu.. aku berjanji, satu lagi 'jerat' itu akan terlerai bila aku mgenggam ijazah akhirku... ibu... doakan aku, kau tahu, kau dengar aduan ku bukan?  Walau mungkin tidak terungkap kata2.. naluri mu tahu aper kata hati ku.... 

Sepi tanpa sahutan,

Sweetyhoneyzz...

Ramadhan Hits Again....

Salam ramadhan to all muslims! every year i will feel the tears of ramadhan when ever i open this blog. something call me up to open it.. i not really used to blog every single day.. when i open it up, yeahhh i know, that voice is calling me to recall the ramadhan moment :') never the less, is all about u mom... *cry* the last thing ever i can recall that makes me feel better, when the doc said, "she had a lot of faith in you"

i must never make her disappointing now.. even its impossible to say that she always eyeing me.. i trust this as her believe towards me.. thats why, i decided to make a move ahead in my career its all about my family...
mom, i know you already know by now.. i know u r so proud of me since i was in boarding school.. i study hard, i give you best result just to make you proud.. because in ur life, u have gone through the difficulties, with people surround that always jealous on u.  they dont envy you.. and now, even you r not here with us, i know those people will still rename you as part of my victory.. yes mom, this is the precious gift ever for you... 

  

The big day

Ewaaahh.. bunyi mcm aper je kan? It got nothing to do with married ke engaged ker.. its actually the presentation to the big client.. fuhhh finally its end for this time.. ive been running in short distance many times just to make things in order b4 the meeting... 
Now i have to get ready with the outcomes and comments.. get my ride to hotel with roger.. then the taxi driver passed grand margherita.. so we decided to stop there, me n roger will drop there.. i can drop by at the lounge n meet reno.. its almost 7, we can watch our fav drama together.. hubuhuuhh But un fortunately, when i arrived at the executive level, reno was not there! She work in morning shift.. well, im here already.. may as well just get my short rest while watching the drama at the lounge aite? 

Haaahhh! Nie laa citer yg buat i hri2 nk balik awal tgk tv! Hahahaa.. lagi best tgk kt lounge kan... 

Me in shadow! Hehehee.. nie laa tgk citer melayu kannn.. iklan dier smpi setgh jam! Byk betol tajaan! Huhhhh *bosannn* Ok then.. later we story2 lagi hokehhh.. enjoy the showww!!
Sweet, HoneyzZ

Room changed!

This is what happen when customer always right! Hahhaa.. i bukan laa nk sgt bilik nih, tapi nk wat canner? Dh itu jer ader kan.. tdi pgi konon nye dh booked kan i bilik king bed, but then u gave to other guest, so i deserved this lah.. huhuhu..

First day i reach here, dh kena tukar bilik cause tap leaking.. then i get single double bed room.. ok xper laa kan.. then after 1 nite stay, i decided i want the king bed jugak.. the room is not bad! Very new and exclusive.. mmg nmpk standard hilton..

Nice aite? This is the first room i get.. the 2nd is just same cume its double single.. for long stay, so far i prefer grand magherita.. cause they will offer u the executive floor.. and they got the executive lounge

Indeed cool! U can have ur tea here after work.. best kan? With that nice view :) plus free flow coffee n tea anytime till 10pm..but in hilton, more then 45dys only u got the executive.. i dunno how's the room will be? And the executive service? No idea in hilton.. 

After the 2nd change, i got the suites now... huhuhu

Wowwww kan? Hahaha.. everything seperated, u feel like at home... so now how can i say no? ofcoz it will be yessssss... thanks for making ur guest fully satisfied! :) Now just finish my dinner.. had a bowl of laksa sarawak at my fav place, borneo cafe! Very affordable n delicious! Thumbs up in their own standard :)

A must try menu when u r in sarawak! 1 bowl for Rm5.. ok kan? :) Ok thennn.. need to go back to hotel... last but not least!

Taraaaa! As promised, the very new shoe n wedges.. hehhehe.. till we meet again! Lovefromsarawak, HoneyzZ...

Fireworks!

Apparently when i had my dinner last nite at my fav place here at the water front, there r a fireworks show and i manage to captured few photos and i think these two is the best.. hahaha.. it just a mobile camera.. not the DSLR thingy!  And that is my dinner for last nite.. they called it "mee in sos gravy" as in KL is usually it's a Cantonese style ;) So, probably the fireworks might got to do with the presence of our PM, Najib and wife at the Hilton last evening.. after work, i have to carry along another 3 luggages to the hotel, but because of this presence, the taxi driver could not enter the lobby.. luckily this uncle is so firm! He just drove his taxi ignored the policeman that control the traffic, n bring be to the road across the lobby.. well atleast, i dont need to walk with all the luggages right??? 

Can u see those luggages? Hahahaa.. this biggest one is mine! My new luggage :)

Oh yaaahh.. i wanted to oost my new shoes aite? Okie dokie.. will post it later!

Lovesss,

HoneyzZ

Working far from family....

  

Today is my 2nd trip to kuching for work.. I will be station here for almost 2 months.. went back home for thaipusam public holiday.. I had 3 days so called rest day from work.. but unfortunately, I dont get much rest.. very tight with hsework..

Its been very long didnt update this blog.. my last post is about my 'late mom'.. yes, Allah loves her more than us! She passed away on 14th august 2012.. just 4 days before the eid :'( its hard to accept the lost at my age of 29, my mom is no longer with me, beside me.. I accept at last by hold the big responsibilities towards my dad and my disable lil brother.. im so lucky to have siter which already married but together in helping to bring the joy in family.. always give a hand when ever I need her.. thats why on mom's last breath, she left a big smile on her face.. she gave that smile for me to remembered that she believes I can do my best n I can handle from that moment onwards... thnks mom.. I hope Allah will always hear my pray and I know u always pray for us from up above... Al- Fatihah...

My flight this morning is as early as 7am.. reach the airport, just 'on time' 1min more could cause me to take the next flight.. ahahahh.. im having my lunch now.. all the bosses is away for meeting.. they left the office at 2pm.. so I decided to go out and have some fresh air plus my lunch.. even though im not that hungry.. errgghhh..

I bought new wedges yesterday... oh myyyyy! After so long I didnt buy any new one.. before, I bought new heels for my official trip, meetings and presentation.. not yet put it on.. my this new wedges,,,,,, as usual, its harm my leg!!!! Suffered along the way from the airport, on the plane and reach thw office.. it makes me to decide to change my shoes by 12pm... I will post the pic in later post yah..I already keep it in my luggage...

Oh I cant wait to go back to hotel!!! I wanna sleep.... rest... tiring weekend, fulled schedule! Hahahaaa.. meet up frens, hsework (its normal... usual routine like b4 n I enjoy it), shopping! Oh yahhhh n I bought  a new luggage as well ;) will post it too later!!

Ok then... till we meet again in next post!

Lotsoflove...
HoneyZz